Tuesday, 1 June 2010

The Ugly Truth :: Out of the Bag

'To call a story a true story is an insult to both art and truth.' – Vladimir Nabokov

bulk :: 12st 5
age :: 42 (as of yesterday)
elbows :: 2
elbows in head :: 0
regrets :: a few
pretentious quotes :: 1
marital status :: single
children :: 0
% of physical truth in Bête de Jour :: approx. 75%
% of emotional truth in Bête de Jour :: 100%
occupation before Bête de Jour :: TEFL teacher
occupation after Bête de Jour :: up in the air
 

As the many ham-fisted, wrong-footed or otherwise abortive attempts I’ve made over the last couple of years testify, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write. (So hard in fact, that in the end, rather than just blurt it out, I disguised the reveal in last week's hitching trip.) Just in case there's still any doubt, however, or just in case you're more confused now than you were a week or so ago, let me just clarify:

I’m not the ugly brute I’ve been claiming to be for the past couple of years. There. I've said it.

I know a few of you had your doubts, some of them verging on the vociferous. Well, congratulations. Your cynicism was not unfounded – at least not entirely.

Right. So. Where to start?

First, I think, with an apology...

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8 comments:

I am Roszs. Hear me ROAR. Miaow. said...

Noooooo!

Hehe!

Well you had me fooled, Karlorwhateveryernameis

Charlene said...

You are what you create here; either physically or otherwise. That is my opinion.

fourstar said...

Everything you know is wrong :)

Anonymous said...

I have just read your confession out to my husband, his response was..."so it was'nt with a Thalidomide!"

Typical.......

Do you feel better for outing yourself?

Polly.

La Bête said...

Maybe I had *myself* fooled, Roszs. Maybe that's what it was. (It wasn't that. It was just you.) (Hehe.)

Charlene, I thank you for it. And I thank you for taking the time to identify it there at the end. (Hehe.)

That's not right, fourstar. Or should I say twelvestar?!

Oh God, that makes me laugh, Polly. I shouldn't laugh. Probably. I dunno. But I am. It is funny.

Anonymous said...

I'm smiling here because I made YOU laugh. You don't know how happy that makes me feel :)

(I made a typo...."was'nt" instead of wasn't. Too much red wine.....)

Polly

Beleaguered Squirrel said...

How will we recognise you when we arrive on Fri? Do you still have that 'tache?

Anonymous said...

You bastard. I've shed many a bitter tear on your behalf. I'll never believe anybody ever again.